Leaders Also Need Self-Care
This morning, as part of the course that I’m taking, I had a session with my leadership coach. This is the first time that I’m working with a coach. Most of the time, I do a self-help approach — I read books, create my own training plan, or watch YouTube videos. This time, I feel like I need to spend more time, effort, and attention resolving my areas for improvement as a leader, thus signing up to the program. I hope that working with a coach will be worthwhile.
The objective of today’s call was to discuss with me my assessment results, and to set my personal and professional leadership goals in the next few months. At the start of the term, I was asked to get feedback from my colleagues — from my managers to my peers and direct reports, and also others whose feedback I would consider valuable — and get a 360° external view of myself. The assessment was comprehensive, and, amazingly, they managed to summarize it in a thirty-page report. I had to read it over and over again because I cannot absorb everything in one go.
I received a fairly good assessment. I’m surprised to see the support and appreciation from my colleagues. As my coach described it, there is an overwhelming support from the top, across, and down the organization. Ratings and comments were generous and consistent. I seem to have been employing the right strategies, and have a sound plan on how to address present and future concerns. The core competencies and values that I have identified that needs some beefing up were also aligned with the assessment results.
The discussion felt almost like a counselling session. We discussed about the need for care and compassion for oneself. As reflected in the assessment results and from the observations my coach made, I’m being hard on myself — I rate or see myself lower than others would, and in areas where people see my strengths, I see my weaknesses. Moreover, my coach thinks that I’m “too goal-oriented”. I treat and interpret everything like goals, and this what drives my frustration, stress, and the feeling of being burdened. Well, as they say, too much of anything is not good.
The entire session was very refreshing. It dawned to me strongly that improving leadership is not all about skills, competencies, and values, it also has to do with being kind and gentle to oneself. Being able to lead people towards the achievement of some goals is not enough. Leaders must do also do it with self-care.
Overall, I need to feel better about my responsibilities. Performing responsibilities is one thing, performing them while feeling good about it is another. It is okay to be happy with what I achieved, and be more appreciative of the things I can do. No one is expected to be a perfect leader. Hopefully, having this renewed understanding will help me deal with present and future challenges more gracefully and with more delight. I still have a long way to go, and I’m excited to learn more.
